In Defence of “Failed Actors”

There is a little something that’s been bothering me for a while, and I want to get it off my chest. It’s not intended to be self-pitying (if you think of me as a failing actor) or self-congratulatory (if you just see me simply as an actor), but you might think differently. If you do, fine, the world is full of people who disagree with me over significantly more important issues, I’m not going to end friendships over this one – if you tell me you like Nigel Farage, however, don’t ever expect me to answer your phone calls again.

Anyhoo… this thing that irks me…

A wide range of people use the term “Failed Actor” quite freely: Successful actors; Less successful actors, who have stuck it out regardless; Journalists; People who know people in “The Business” … But this term, which is so liberally bandied about, is not helpful to anyone.

It’s sometimes used to describe actors who don’t have the careers of Tom Cruise and Julia Roberts. Or it’s used to describe people who spent 5 years playing a regular role in “Eastenders”, but since being killed off in a Christmas Day fire at the Queen Vic, have ‘just’ done the odd play, or popped up as a one-off in “Casualty”. Or it’s used to describe actors who have never been on “Coronation Street” (I know you think that’s a joke. It ain’t no joke, mate, people think that) and the scale of the perceived “failure” whittles down depending on who is using it, until it’s used to mean “someone who was an actor, but left the industry and became something else”. The other definitions make me groan, or laugh, or rant, depending on the frame of mind I happen to be in at the time, but this last one is particularly irksome. How many people do you know who have left accounting, to go into gardening? Let’s say the answer isn’t zero, (shut up and use your imagination… please) do you call that person a Failed Accountant? Or do you call that person a Gardener? Your mate who used to run pubs, but now organises weddings? Wedding planner or Failed Landlord? …. Can you see where I’m headed with this? So the next time you talk about your mate who was an actor, but now works for a recruitment company, don’t refer to him a “Failed Actor”, just call him by his name, unless the whole point of the phrase was to belittle him, in which case, why not just say he has hands like Donald Trump’s? Easy.

Before you read any further (if you’ve read this far), here are some things I know already, so feel free not to point them out to me:

1. This career is not a hardship thrust upon us, it’s a choice we have made for ourselves. I know;
2. We are not rescuing babies from burning buildings, making life-saving scientific discoveries, or brokering peace in the Middle East. I get it;
3. You hate that TV show that we once had a bit part in. Noted. Feel free to change channel.

Here’s the thing… Sometimes people really have just had enough of the daily job applications (even when they’re in work – because that work is only ever short-term), of the turning up to auditions and sitting in a room full of 25 other people (HOW does this happen? People are given time slots, yet still the room is always full), of the not knowing whether they’ll be able to pay their rent at the end of the month because the pay is so crappy (put that violin away, you might have to sell it, so make sure it’s in good condition), of constantly getting to the final two and being told the director went the other way (after they’d cancelled their holiday which would have clashed with filming dates).

Sometimes people just get fed up with that shit, because it’s exhausting. Sometimes people discover another career which brings them just as much joy, and fewer punches in the nuts. Knowing that they’re going to be labelled by some as “failing” rather than just “moving on” or “changing direction” makes people reluctant to leave when they feel the time is right for them. So stop it, please.

Seriously…. do me this favour, I don’t need these assholes hanging around creating more competition. Enough already.

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This post was originally published as ‘The Anxious Actor”