A female criminologist on BBC Radio 4’s Today Programme this morning talking about the tragic case of Sarah Everard urged women not to “pander to stereotypes and get hysterical”… I put that in quotes, because those were her exact words. And I’m pointing out she is female, because she said it was ok for her to use that terminology because she is a woman. I’m not going to write anything about the rest of the segment, because it’s not that particular issue I want to focus on. It’s the perpetuation of stereotypes, and why it is so damaging.
Let’s go backwards chronologically through some of the behaviours we’ve been trying to “fix” over the last few years… which are met with #NotAllMen or #AllLivesMatter, or whatever hashtag people use as an excuse to avoid a bit of self assessment and accountability…I’m going to be brief on each one, don’t worry… **I’ll start with this one… the stereotype of the “hysterical woman”… when you allow yourself to be complicit in perpetuating this stereotype you are contributing to an environment that does not feel the need to address concerns raised by women, because you can always reason hysteria away. Hysteria is, after all, based on ungovernable emotion, rather than fact. The same goes for the one type of man that is often described as “hysterical” – gay men. Why even question the appropriateness of your behaviour or comment, when the person who has been hurt or marginalised by it can’t be reasoned with because they are hysterical?
Next… back to women, but this time specifically black women, “the angry black woman” … why would you need to take any genuine, justified anger seriously if it’s just a known fact that “black women are always angry”? Black women “bewitching white men” … of course the man in question is going to be suddenly choosing her over all else – it’s some sort of supernatural power she has over him, it couldn’t possibly be that he has listened to her point, and been made aware of his birth given privilege. Before anyone says it – I know this isn’t always directed specifically at women of colour, it tends to be directed at any woman who gets involved in a relationship with a man who is admired and respected, but who, on entering said relationship gives weight to the opinions and feelings of their partner… that is regarded with suspicion aplenty when it’s a white woman in the picture… it’s regarded with even more when it’s a woman of colour (see Meghan Markle and Yoko Ono, just off the top of my head) because just by believing that she is the equal of such a man, she is getting ideas way above her station (another stereotype attached to non-caucasian people).
“Black men are aggressive” … if “they” are, just naturally aggressive, that saves you the time of questioning who you believe, and of whether the institutions you’ve been brought up to have trust in are worthy of your trust, it saves you the time of questioning your own behaviour and wondering if maybe something you said or did was inappropriate. It’s not your fault – that’s just the way “they” are.
“Muslims are terrorists” … as soon as you label someone a terrorist (a word used repeatedly alongside the concept of Islam, but not nearly as frequently, or as widely, when talking of unspeakable acts carried out by white people, or people outside the Islamic faith) there is no need to further justify your fear or mistrust of “them”.
“Trans women attack cis women” … if someone is perceived as a danger to you obviously it makes sense to avoid them, no? No matter that trans women are the net recipients of acts of violence, not the perpetrators. Writing someone off as a threat, or that most dehumanising of words, ‘unnatural’, we don’t have to question our lack of impetus to protect them. We are not the problem.
“Jews are rich and white” … paints a distinct image of people who do not need protecting, yet antisemitic violence is on the rise all around the world, because guess what nazis don’t consider Jewish people to be? White. (And guess what not all Jews are? Rich. Or white, incidentally.) When antisemitic crimes are reported people who are quick to defend other minorities are often very quick to believe it’s “the Jews who control the media” crying wolf … so once again, our own behaviour goes unquestioned.
Am I, or is anyone I know, immune to falling into any of these traps of stereotyping? Hell, no. Of course not. I once, much to my shame, joked that I was a good person to do the budgeting on a project because of my “Scottish genes and Jewish heritage” … if there was any truth in either of those stereotypes I would be a lot more flush than I am. I’ve also blamed my “Presbyterian heritage for favouring a hard mattress and obsession with cleaning”, “my catholic and Jewish heritages for my never ending feelings of guilt”, “my Jewish heritage and Latin upbringing for my hypochondria”… the list goes on … and these were all directed at myself, and all meant harmlessly, and all said to get a laugh (or at least to attempt to get one)… but all contribute to perpetuating stereotypes.
These myths and validations are just some that I have been thinking about a lot recently. There are plenty more that I either haven’t mentioned because I have some lines to learn and I need to wrap it up, or that I’m just plain unaware of, and very likely contribute to.
The world is full of people trying to tell others of their daily struggles and of those others getting defensive, and being unwilling to give the concerns weight, because by filling the world with stereotypes we’ve all got a “miss a turn” card, and we pick and choose where we use it and whose concerns we shut our ears to.
To make the game fairer we need to get rid of those cards, because there is always someone in the game who doesn’t draw a single one of them, and someone who draws five. And yes, removing the cards and having to listen to people’s challenges and take them seriously without attempting to absolve yourself from complicity in them does make the game more challenging…… But I have Presbyterian heritage, so to me, the hardship and challenge IS the game…
**I said I was going to be brief on each point… I didn’t say the post itself would be brief
My Name is Not Debbie 